The "Audacity" and Dignity of "Leading with Hope, Never Fear"

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"...if our democracy is to work the way it should in this increasingly diverse nation, then each one of us need to try to heed the advice of a great character in American fiction, Atticus Finch, who said “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

As President Barack Obama gave his Farewell Address last week, I didn't want to listen. It would be too hard, but this man,this family, this administration, has meant too much to me, so I sat with my Kleenex box at the ready. The first President I have any memory of was Richard Nixon, and that memory was his resignation speech...thus my political socialization was formed.  With the Obamas came the very first time that I could look at a President, look to the symbol of the office, and feel truly proud to walk as an American.   A man who faced obstruction at every turn yet who led with a grace and a dignity almost unseen in our history. The overwhelming challenges he inherited on day one: a country on the verge of collapse embroiled in economic disaster and multiple wars, an unrelenting Washington establishment that vowed to block his every move from the moment he was elected simply because he was Barack Obama, the unmatched expectations that lay on his shoulders as the "The First"-all meant that this President was never going to win within a partisan planet.  There is never perfection in politics, a system that rewards patronage not need, rarely leaves room for the Hope he promised. There is always disappointment, mistakes, but when this country faced horror, sadness and challenges it was THIS man that we looked to for assurance and comfort.  With intelligent caring thought, humor, style, and grace he let us hope. We will not have that again-and perhaps it is that void that hurts the most. Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe and Jill Biden have shown us how it can, and should be done!  Michelle Obama has redefined what the role of FLOTUS is in an age when women's voices and challenges,especially for young girls, need a champion.  Her graceful heart brought meaning to the role that had been strictly ceremonial since the days Eleanor Roosevelt was "her husband's legs".  She opened the doors of her home, America's home, to everyone. She has been a beacon of promise for so many.  Her work for girls all over the world, showing them they deserve and have a right to any future they can envision.  Encouraging all kids to believe they could and should have an education. Michelle Obama literally got dirt under her fingernails as she worked everyday for America's kids.  With Joe Biden as his true partner, Barack Obama worked to help this country transition to a new world-one that holds promise and fear.  A world that means truly being in and of the world-not isolating ourselves or turning our backs on so many that look to this country to lead.  Change is painful, and as economies change and society changes people cling to only what they have known-I get that...but going backward, to a world that doesn't welcome, that segregates, that discriminates is horrifyingly dangerous.  So as I listened to his "goodbye", there were so many memories-his tear laden face on the night of Newtown, his voice at the Charleston Church, the joy of watching him with kids, his heart, his calm and control and ability to literally turn the other cheek, his humor and intelligent cool  ...too many moments, and a frustration beyond words for what he could not change.   His speech last week in Chicago,however, as always, inspired and brought me to tears.  It also left me with a promise of the Hope he instilled, his optimism and belief that "we're going to be OK", that the fundamental core of this country is good.  May he continue to be the crossing guard, the gate holder, the indomitable guide to decency, courage, indomitable cool, and always a real leader standing with every citizen with a  dignity and grace that made us proud.  THIS is the voice we will need, the one we must listen to even when all we want to do is hide under the bed.   Thank you to MY President.

"...democracy does not require uniformity. Our founders argued, they quarreled, and eventually they compromised. They expected us to do the same. But they knew that democracy does require a basic sense of solidarity. The idea that, for all our outward differences, we’re all in this together, that we rise or fall as one..."

"But laws alone won’t be enough. Hearts must change"

"We have to pay attention and listen."

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 “The hope of folks like my dad, who got up every day to do his job at the city water plant, the hope that one day his kids would go to college and have opportunities he never dreamed of,” Mrs. Obama said. “That’s the kind of hope that every single one of us — politicians, parents, preachers, all of us — need to be providing for our young people, because that is what moves this country forward every single day.”  Michelle Obama

“Our glorious diversity — our diversities of faiths, and colors, and creeds — that is not a threat to who we are; it makes us who we are...So to the young people here and the young people out there: Do not ever let anybody make you feel like you don’t matter or like you don’t have a place in our American story because you do, and you have a right to be exactly who you are...Lead by example with hope, never fear...

 And know that I will be with you, rooting for you and 

working to support you for the rest of my life.”

First Lady Michelle Obama

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  "So regardless of the station we occupy; we all have to try harder; we all have to start with the premise that each of our fellow citizens loves this country just as much as we do; that they value hard work and family just like we do; that their children are just as curious and hopeful and worthy of love as our own."

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"The peril(s)... to our democracy is more far reaching than a car bomb or a missile. They represent the fear of change. The fear of people who look or speak or pray differently. A contempt for the rule of law that holds leaders accountable. An intolerance of dissent and free thought. A belief that the sword or the gun or the bomb or the propaganda machine is the ultimate arbiter of what’s true and what’s right."

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 "Our Constitution is a remarkable, beautiful gift. But it’s really just a piece of parchment. It has no power on its own. We, the people, give it power. We, the people, give it meaning — with our participation, and with the choices that we make and the alliances that we forge."

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 "...that’s what our democracy demands. It needs you. Not just when there’s an election, not just when you own narrow interest is at stake, but over the full span of a lifetime. If you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the Internet, try talking with one of them in real life...

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... If something needs fixing, then lace up your shoes
 and do some organizing.

...If you’re disappointed by your elected officials, grab a clip board, get some signatures, and run for office yourself.

 ...Show up, dive in, stay at it. 

 My fellow Americans, it has been the honor of my life to serve you. I won’t stop; in fact, I will be right there with you, as a citizen, for all my remaining days...

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...But for now, whether you are young or whether you’re young at heart, I do have one final ask of you as your president — the same thing I asked when you took a chance on me eight years ago.

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...I am asking you to believe. Not in my ability to bring about change 
— but in yours.

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...I am asking you to hold fast to that faith written into our founding documents; that idea whispered by slaves and abolitionists; that spirit sung by immigrants and homesteaders and those who marched for justice; that creed reaffirmed by those who planted flags from foreign battlefields to the surface of the moon; a creed at the core of every American whose story is not yet written:

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Yes, we can.

Yes, we did.

Yes, we can."

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A Legacy of Love and Grace-A Pin for Hope on World Kindness Day

For as long as I can remember my Nana wore the same pin every single day.  It was a simple safety pin filled from end to end with tiny shoes representing each of her chicks.  I cannot remember a day she did not put that pin on-even in illness on a bathrobe.  For me that pin would always represent love, the knowledge that I was cherished, and the safety I could find in sight of that pin.

Like many of us I have searched relentlessly this week for something positive, something hopeful, to hold onto and help to calm and confirm that it's all going to be OK...it has not been easy.  But forward we must go and somehow, someway, find the most peaceful path to not only change what an election could not, but also make it clear to everyone in this country, and in this world, that we are there for one another.  We must demonstrate everyday in as many ways possible that we care and that we vow to always stand with, support, and cherish those who are facing fear from a country whose ugly underside has been revealed, a country that has forgotten, or never knew, the fundamental place that grew this nation-empathy and a welcoming celebration of our differences.

  No, my vote didn't matter-but heart must!  There has already been ugly and scarring vitriol and rhetoric and actions, but for ourselves and our children, especially our children,  kindness is the only answer to those who obviously do not understand the country they claim to want to take back.

   As the UK dealt with their Brexit vote many took to wearing a Safety Pin to demonstrate that they would be a safe presence, not threatening, for anyone who might be facing fear.  As we enter our own new and anxious existence I wear Nana's  pin for her, the lessons she taught me, and to show that I care and I will do what I can to keep kindness and hope moving forward.

For Our Mother's Mothers and Our Daughter's Daughters...We Vote!

On September 11, 2001 amidst the horrors of that day a primary election was being held.  As most of us headed home, my then 93 year old Grandmother insisted on going out... to vote. "Why" I exclaimed, "it's a primary!" "It's very important", she declared, "especially today...now come pick me up."

I never thought much about voting.  Like most of us I didn't think my vote really mattered and I took for granted a privilege assuming it was a right and would always be there if and when there was a reason to vote.  I ignored history, Nana reminded me of just that.  Nana isn't here to vote this election, she would have been outraged by what has occurred.  She grew up in an immigrant family, with neighbors who burned crosses into the hills surrounding their home.  She lived through two world wars, the Depression, The McCarthy Era, the loss of the Kennedys and Martin Luther King, Vietnam, the Civil Rights Movement, Watergate...decades of extraordinary societal change and upheaval. She took it all in her stride but was always in awe of how far her Granddaughters could go.

 So many reasons to hate this election but perhaps  lost in all the insanity and vitriol of an election gone mad is one very important, and to say the least historic fact-there is a woman one election away from shattering the final ceiling.  This woman may have chosen a different path than your grandmother or your mother or even you.  No, she didn't stay home and bake cookies, but she respects your right to do that.  Instead she took her gifts and her education and went out and tried to create change that made a difference in people's lives. Is she perfect-no, none of us are,  and her journey to kick one door open after another for women and children meant that she had to make some people both unhappy and unsettled-quite brave!  

I grew up in the next generation-one that never questioned my right to be in the room, but I was the bookend to my grandmother-too smart for her generation, and my mother-a dutiful follower of hers.  I have spent my life following their lead while kicking my own doors open along the way.  Without them and everything they taught me, including how to bake cookies,  I would not be in that room.  Tomorrow we vote to be sure that not just every girl but every child can grow up knowing they too belong in the room!

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"History Has its Eyes on You"

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"America, you great unfinished symphony,

you sent for me

You let me make a difference

A place where even orphan immigrants

Can leave their fingerprints and rise up" 

Hamilton, “The World Was Wide Enough”

Like most of America I have fallen for a Broadway show that I have yet to see.  Hamilton has taken my heart and sings in my head.  Lin Manuel Miranda's extraordinary show has turned musical theatre on its proverbial ear infusing Hip Hop with history and opening the lives and stories of America's Founding Fellows. Perhaps the most wonderful aspect of this ground breaking show is not only that Broadway is cool but that kids everywhere are being handed history in a way that will resonate with them and spark their vision of history and of their own lives. 

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“When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game. But you don’t get a win unless you play in the game. Oh, you get love for it. You get hate for it. You get nothing if you…Wait for it, wait for it, wait!”     Hamilton, “The Room Where It Happens”

This week PBS' Great Performances airs Hamilton's America  a documentary on the making of Hamilton,not only the creation of the musical but also how Lin Manuel Miranda brought the most unlikely of historical figures to life and how historians and politicians, such as a guy named Obama, views the man who most of us only thought as the face on the $10 bill.

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In this insane political season where so many have lost faith in how this is all supposed to work, how wonderful to be taken back to "The Room Where it Happened"... to see it has always been messy, and yes even nasty, but here we are still!  We may want to take a shower after debates, and hide under the bed til it all goes away...but we come from history that teaches us that the characters who built our foundation and upon the foundation have always been flawed, and sometimes completely unlikable, but they made history, they changed history...and so can we!

“You want a revolution? I want a revelation. So listen to my declaration: “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.” And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I’m ‘a compel him to include women in the sequel!” —Angelica Schuyler, “The Schuyler Sisters”

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 “The plan is to fan this spark into a flame.” —Hamilton, “My Shot”