“She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father." ~Harper Lee
There was a time I ran from this day, as far as I could. A day filled with memories so strong that 29 years later I can still be sent back in a flash to all those big family Father's Day cook-outs, in all types of weather...the piles of gifts left in front of my Papa who preferred to have all his grandchildren around him rather than packages and left the presents for Nana to open, the clumsily wrapped cans of tennis balls and Izod polos that populated Daddy's stack of gifts... Yes, this is yet another Hallmark day. A day designed for card sellers and tie makers. Of course we should celebrate Dads beyond a Sunday in June, but to have a day set aside on the calendar to stop and hug the man or the memories I have to come to feel is a good thing.
No, it does not get easier with time. Loss leaves craters in your life. Though they can never be filled, and will never be closed, if you have been enveloped with love the holes are softer to look into and can bring both strength and joy.
This Father's Day weekend may not be my first without Daddy, but like every year at this time I try to keep the mascara from going by hugging the memories and re-opening his many gifts to me. Gifts that I carry with me every day and always will. Gifts that are sewn into the core of my soul and especially my heart. Gifts that have given me an umbrella policy for life, a firm footing even when it feels as if the the universe has sent me into orbit on my own.
Being a daddy’s girl is like having a permanent armor for the rest of your life.”
~Marinela Ranka
"Run your own race,baby. He could have said it a dozen other ways. “Be independent.” “Don’t be influenced by others.” But it wouldn’t have been the same. The words he chose touched my heart and have remained with me all through my life. Whenever I’m at a crossroads, I ask myself,
“Am I running my race or somebody else’s?"
What a gift he gave me."
How very lucky I am to know that being a “Daddy’s Girl” means that I carry the extraordinary gift of unconditional love with me wherever life takes me. That love has taught me to believe in myself and my strengths, and to know that I CAN “run my own race”- even when I have trouble finding the track. My Father taught me to trust my instincts, believe that there is nothing I can’t accomplish and that the worst thing I could do would be to give up, pass on an opportunity or to sit on the sidelines and never try! I think the only instances that Daddy was really upset and angry with me is when I gave up, ran home, didn't try.
Still on the days when I think…”There is NO way I can do this!” or "What do I do next" I hear Daddy saying “Just Try”. Happy Father’s Day Daddy…Thank you for my many gifts. Oh how I wish you were here to watch me run my own crazy race,especially when I run the other way :) I love you today and everyday!
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